(PLEASE DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING THAT HUMS)
Congratulations.
You’ve wandered into the Infinite Archive, a place dedicated to cataloguing objects that should not reasonably exist, yet persist with admirable stubbornness. The doors are open, the lights are flickering, and the archivist has been informed that visitors are expected. So here you are.
Before you begin your exploration, a few notes:
1. The Archive is a Work in Progress.
So is the universe, if we’re being honest.
Some shelves are empty. Some are pretending to be empty. Others are full but refusing to admit it. This is all normal and should not reflect on the management, who are doing their best with limited funding and unlimited mysteries.
2. Fragments Will Appear Gradually.
Relics arrive on their own schedule.
They are not punctual objects.
When a fragment decides to present itself, it will be catalogued and announced with the enthusiasm of someone discovering an unlabelled jar in the back of the fridge.
3. The Acquisitions Desk Exists, but Don’t Rush There.
Yes, fragments may eventually become available for custodianship.
No, there are none at the moment.
If something does appear, you’ll know — the Archive has a way of making itself heard, usually by rearranging the shelves or rattling the ventilation system.
4. Archivist Notes Will Document Our Ongoing Struggle.
Think of these posts as field reports written by someone who has been asked to maintain order in a building that disagrees with the concept of order.
Updates may include discoveries, warnings, and sighs.
5. You Are Welcome Here. Truly.
Just don’t run.
Running encourages the artefacts.
Feel free to wander, observe, speculate, or silently question your life decisions.
The Archive appreciates the company, even if it pretends otherwise.
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